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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752640">Know my heart, know my soul</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisKane/pseuds/ArtemisKane'>ArtemisKane</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trials and Tribulations of Artemis Kane and the Gangsey. [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Communication, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Oblivious, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:07:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisKane/pseuds/ArtemisKane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I realize in that moment that Blue was right, I’m a little in love with all of them, they’re a little in love with each other, and I am willing to do anything for them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam Parrish/Original Female Character(s), Richard Gansey III &amp; Adam Parrish &amp; Ronan Lynch &amp; Blue Sargent &amp; Original Female Character(s), Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish/Original Female Character(s), Richard Gansey III/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trials and Tribulations of Artemis Kane and the Gangsey. [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814629</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Know my heart, know my soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone!!</p><p>So, again, Artemis Kane is a feisty, loving, analytical, self-sacrificing, and oblivious Omega Werewolf.</p><p>Enjoy me ranting about how much I love them all for way too long!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s dark out as I walk to the little bar on 5th St, my guitar case slung over my shoulder.</p><p>It’s a warm night in Henrietta, Virginia, the town I’ve been staying in for the past 3 weeks. It’s pretty peaceful, and frankly I would love to stay here for a long time.</p><p>But I know I’m gonna get back on the road eventually.</p><p>I open the back entrance to the bar and head backstage to begin getting myself ready.</p><p>Every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday night for the past three weeks, I’ve played at this bar. The pay is pretty ok, and since I also got a job at the convenience store down the road while I’m here, I’ve been able to live quite fine. And besides, music has always been something of a passion of mine, so getting payed for doing something I love is amazing.</p><p>I head up on stage and set the mic up.</p><p>“Good evening.” I say into the mic, the stage lights shining slightly into my eyes from my standing position, but I won’t have to worry about that soon once I sit down and start to sing. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” I’m met with a small course of ambiguous murmurs, and I simply flash a smile. “Well, as you know, my name’s Artemis Kane, and I hope you enjoy the show tonight.”</p><p>I bring the mic down and sit on a stool, setting my guitar on my knee and pluck a couple of strings to the tune of my first song. I close my eyes momentarily, allowing the music to flow through me and around me.</p><p>I sing one, two, three songs and start moving on to the fourth one when I notice him in the crowd. The boy that has been here every Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday night ever since I began playing here. It’s a Tuesday, which is why his presence here sticks with me so much.</p><p>He’s...very handsome... in a very ethereal way, as if his beauty isn’t really meant to be processed by the human mind, but by some higher being. He has sharp cheekbones, tan skin, dusty curly blond hair, and deep blue eyes. He looks like a cross between a Fae and a wood nymph.</p><p>Just...really freaking pretty...</p><p>He’s drinking his usual, club soda.</p><p>I notice he’s brought a friend, judging by how close they are sitting.</p><p>His friend is very handsome as well, but in a completely different way. This other young man is handsome in the way that one would look at the David in awe. With his aristocratically chiseled features, warm hazel eyes, full lips, and effortlessly tousled chestnut hair, he truly looks like a cross between a model for Michelangelo and a Greek God.</p><p>I feel my fingers fumble on my guitar strings momentarily, messing up a chord change as I notice how intent both their gazes are, the blue eyed one’s as if he’s reading my very soul, and the hazel eyed one’s as if he’s seeing a beautiful sunset. I feel heat rise to my cheeks irrationally as I quickly recover from my mistake.</p><p>I finish my set, thank the audience, and make my way backstage to get my pay check, and finally out the back door.</p><p>To my surprise, I find a bright orange kinda beaten up looking Camaro parked outside with both the Fae and the Greek God leaning against it, chatting.</p><p>When they notice me, they push off the car to stand up straight.</p><p>“You have a really beautiful voice.” The hazel eyed one says, his voice smooth like old money. The blue eyed one nods, eyes piercing my soul once again.</p><p>“Thanks.” I fight to keep from fidgeting at their gazes. “Were you both just waiting out here like some creepy stalkers?”</p><p>I see them both blanch, and then Hazel Eyes begins talking a mile a minute.</p><p>“No, no, no of course not!” His voice is still charming, but with a note of panic, “we just wanted to say that you have a really beautiful voice, Artemis, and you play guitar really well, my friend here had told me you were good but wow, honestly his description of you was nowhere near as accurate as the real thing but I promise we aren’t trying to be creepy-“</p><p>“Ok, ok, I was just kidding, it’s fine.” I say, suppressing an amused smile. I turn my gaze to Blue Eyes. “Well, I would like to at least know your names, since you both already know mine and you’ve been talking about me behind my back.” I raise and eyebrow and notice Blue Eyes’ lips twitch up into a small smirk.</p><p>I walk a little closer against my better judgement as they take a couple of steps forward, almost as if we are being pulled to each other. I now notice that Blue Eyes also has freckles on his tan skin. Freaking pretty. Blue Eyes sticks out his hand, and I shake it. </p><p>“Adam. Adam Parrish.” He states, a faint accent peaking out. I feel an irrational need to find out what his accent actually sounds like, and why he’s repressing it. Blue Eyes, Adam’s, hand is calloused and warm.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Adam.” I say with a small smile. I let go of his hand, feeling almost as if an undercurrent of energy was connecting us, but I shake the feeling off.</p><p>I then turn to Hazel Eyes and shake his hand in turn. “Gansey. Just Gansey.” He says, a smile on his lips. His hand is soft and strong, and I can feel how the dimpled smile is true, not forced, even though I have an inkling of a feeling that he’s used to forcing smiles. I get that same weird energy undercurrent, but I yet again shake it off.</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you too, Gansey.” </p><p>There’s something strange about their scents. Not strange bad, but as if their scents are...special, somehow.</p><p>“Would you like to go for a late night dinner with us and our friends?” Gansey asks.</p><p>I raise a teasing eyebrow, “You sure this isn’t a trap so that you can drag me out to the woods and murder me?”</p><p>They both laugh a little, Gansey’s laugh bright while Adam’s is softer.</p><p>“It’s not.” Adam states simply, eyes strangely earnest. Both of their heartbeats are steady, so I know they’re telling the truth.</p><p>I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, dinner it is.”</p><p>I slip my guitar into the Camaro’s trunk, said car being called the Pig, and climb into the backseat, Gansey driving us to a little dinner called Nino’s.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>At Nino’s, I meet two other intrinsic people to Adam and Gansey’s friend group.</p><p>Blue Sargent, a short girl with gorgeous dark skin, dark short spiky hair pinned crazily, and a feisty fire in her deep brown eyes.</p><p>And Ronan Lynch, a boy that looks like you might cut yourself on his grin if you get too close. Buzzed hair, sharp blue eyes, tattoo peaking out from the collar of his tank top, and leather bands on his wrists.</p><p>They both look dangerous in entirely different ways. The former is dangerous in the way that a shard of glass is, beautiful if handled correctly, but a ferocious weapon if not. And the latter is dangerous in the way a cobra or viper is, deadly and terrifying, but if you see past the surface, you might find a softer underbelly than you expected.</p><p>“Lynch, if you keep throwing paper balls at my hair I am going to punch you.”</p><p>“Try me, Maggot.”</p><p>I suppress a smile at what is clearly a typical interaction between Blue and Ronan.</p><p>I also learn that Gansey’s full name is Richard Campbell Gansey III, and honestly that just adds to the picture he paints.</p><p>Another thing that I notice is that Gansey and Adam are dating.</p><p>It’s clear that not only is their relationship new, but they’re also trying to keep it under wraps.</p><p>But it’s plain as day in the way that their feet are gently intertwined under the table from where they sit across from each other. In the way that their gazes linger a second too long on one another. In the way that their eyes shine a little brighter and their smiles are a little wider when they glance at each other. And how their heartbeats speed up just slightly whenever one touches the other, even if it’s just a simple pat on the shoulder.</p><p>It’s cute, and sweet. I ignore the strange feeling of disappointment curling in my stomach. They both clearly are very happy with one another, and I am not about to fall for them. Especially since I’ve barely known either one for a day.</p><p>So I remain silent regarding my discovery, and choose to enjoy the presence of these four vivacious people, laughing and eating the night away.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Over the next month, the five of us hang out more and more, getting to know each other and growing fond of one another, closer.</p><p> Although I haven’t told them about my werewolf secret yet. I don’t know if I ever will, to be honest. Admittedly, it was a little difficult to explain why I had to disappear for 3 days due to my heat, but I don’t wanna lose them. I don’t want them to look at me with fear. I don’t want-</p><p>“Pass to me!”</p><p>“Screw you, maggot, you’re too short.”</p><p>“Fuck off, Lynch!”</p><p>“Jane!”</p><p>“Let her be, Gans, Ronan deserves it.”</p><p>“Fuck you too, Parrish!”</p><p>We are all playing a hybrid game of football meets rugby at the Barns.</p><p>It’s a gorgeous afternoon, the sun streaming through the surrounding trees and making the place look even more magical and alive than it normally looks.</p><p>Gansey is refereeing. Blue and Ronan are on one team, Adam and I on the other.</p><p>Gansey’s wearing his wireframe glasses, and he looks so handsome, especially when he smiles like that, so wonderful and carefree. Adam laughs at something Ronan said, and I can’t help but want to keep hearing that gorgeous sound from those beautiful lips for the rest of my life. God, I wish I could kiss them.</p><p>I immediately shut this train of thought down, brutally reminded of my place in this group and why exactly I have to ignore these brewing feelings for both of them when Adam goes over to Gansey and kisses him chastely on the lips during a time out.</p><p>They had told the group that they were dating around a week or so ago to a chorus of “Finally!” from both Ronan and Blue, and unflinching support from me. Adam and Gansey have been slowly incorporating more PDA into our hangouts as a group, although they always keep it PG.</p><p>While it does hurt to know that I will never get to feel what it’s like to love them romantically and be loved by them that same way, their happiness is more important to me.</p><p>Gansey claps his hands to signal the start of a new round, and I dash after Blue, who has the ball, using some of my werewolf speed to reach her faster.</p><p>She tries to dodge, but I slam into her before she can, sending us both sprawling across the grass.</p><p>We both laugh loudly, and I get up a little to look at her and make sure she isn’t too badly bruised.</p><p>Blue’s panting, out of breath, and she has the brightest smile on her face, the sun making her skin glow molten ebony. </p><p>“Hi.” I pant out, smiling.</p><p>“Hey.” Blue replies, eyes beaming.</p><p>I brush a stray leaf from her hair, the touch electric for a moment. She smirks and shoves me playfully, and I laugh. I get off her and stretch out a hand, pulling her up while we both share another laugh. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Gansey and Adam share a glance, Adam clenching his fists and Gansey shifting slightly with a small frown on his face. I wonder what happened to make them react this way. Maybe Ronan said something uncouth while I was helping Blue up?</p><p>Suddenly, a loud howl coming from the tree-line surrounding the Barns resonates through the field. I tense up, immediately on the defensive.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?” Ronan asks.</p><p>“Sounded like a wolf.” Adam intones, eyes calculating and confused.</p><p>“There aren’t wolves in Virginia.” Blue replies, warily and sensibly.</p><p>Gansey just rubs his bottom lip with a pensive and watchful look on his face.</p><p>I know what that sound really was. A werewolf. An Alpha werewolf.</p><p>This isn’t good.</p><p>“We should head back inside.” I say, trying to sound casual, but my heart is racing.</p><p>“Why?” Ronan asks, an eyebrow raised in challenge. “If it is a wolf then maybe we can tame it.”</p><p>Gansey huffs. “Chainsaw is enough, mind you. We do not need another mouth to feed.”</p><p>“Yes, dad.” Ronan mocks, eliciting a disapproving glare from Gansey.</p><p>Another howl. Much closer now. I need to get them inside. Now.</p><p>“Please,” I start, voice coming out more panicked than I intended, “please just go inside.”</p><p>They all look at me, confused and concerned.</p><p>“Artemis,” Adam says, “is everything alright?”</p><p>But before I can answer, I see movement by the tree-line and instinctively move to protect the four of them.</p><p>It’s an Alpha alright, with four Betas accompanying him.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>The Alpha is tall, probably around 6’2”, with huge muscles and a sadistic smile. I feel dwarfed in comparison. His Betas are only a little shorter than him, but just as muscular.</p><p>“Well, well, well,” the Alpha drawls, voice like gravel, “what do we have here? An unmated Omega. Guess it must be our lucky day, boys.” The Alpha’s Betas chuckle darkly.</p><p>“Who the hell are you?” Blue yells, “You’re trespassing on private property, you know.”</p><p>The Alpha barely spares her a glance, his eyes zeroed in on me. </p><p>“Omega,” he uses his Alpha voice, and I feel all my muscles lock up, “kneel.”</p><p>I mutter a soft “no” as I fight the command.</p><p>“Omega, kneel.” he commands again, more forcefully.</p><p>I let out a growl of frustration as my legs give out and I kneel as the Alpha and his Betas come closer. I can feel the confusion and agitation coming off of the four behind me, and I hate that I can’t move due to the command, that I can’t protect them.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re doing,” Gansey’s voice is diplomatic and dangerous, “but you need to leave this instant.”</p><p>The Alpha and his Betas chuckle sadistically once more and continue to walk closer as I kneel there, helpless.</p><p>“He told you to leave.” Adam’s voice is cold and cruel, his eyes matching his tone from where I can see him in the corner of my vision.</p><p>“Just go,” I bite out, struggling to fight the command, “please, just go.”</p><p>“We’re not leaving.” Blue says, firmly. </p><p>“Get the fuck off my land.” Ronan growls, stepping forward and a little in front of me, the other three following suit soon after, and I wanna cry at their loyalty and their stupidity. What the hell do they think they’re doing?</p><p>The Alpha simply laughs, loud and mocking. He then twitches his head slightly and the four Betas rush over, grabbing my friends and restraining them.</p><p>“No.” I mutter through clenched teeth with the sound of my friends struggling to free themselves behind me, and me just fucking kneeling.</p><p>The Alpha comes to stand right in front of me. He grabs my jaw in one hand and tilts my chin up, flashing his red Alpha eyes and therefore forcing me to flash my purple Omega ones. He smiles, slowly and slimily, his fangs peaking out a little.</p><p>“Well, aren’t you pretty, Omega.” He says, lascivious. I feel disgust and bile rise in the back of my throat, wanting to cringe away from his touch. “Yes, you’ll definitely do. You’ll be a good little Omega and satisfy my pack in anyway they need, providing us with strong and healthy children.”</p><p>“No.” I growl softly, fighting the command and his grip to no avail.</p><p>“No?” The Alpha laughs, “Omega’s don’t have a choice. They just obey, submit, and satisfy. That is all you are good for, little Omega. Open your mouth.” His voice lowers once again to that commanding Alpha tone, and my mouth drops open automatically. I let out a cry of frustration before he shoves three thick and disgusting fingers into my mouth, making me choke a little. Tears of shame, humiliation, and fear slip down my cheeks.</p><p>“Such a pretty Omega, fuck.” The Alpha groans out. </p><p>I don’t want this. I want this to stop. I have to get this to stop! </p><p>He then looks up at his Betas, eyes cruel and sadistic. “Kill them.”</p><p>My breathing stops.</p><p>I am not going to lose my friends.</p><p>I see red, and bite down hard on the Alpha’s fingers, feeling the satisfying crunch of bone and his blood fill my mouth. I give in to that bloodthirsty side of me that yearns to tear and crush and kill.</p><p>The next moments are patchy, filled with the scent and taste of blood, the sound of broken bones and broken screams, the feeling of tearing flesh beneath my claws and teeth.</p><p>When I finally come to, it’s to five bodies completely torn apart surrounding me.</p><p>The iron smell of blood is pungent, and I spit a wad of said blood into the grass. I stand up from where I had been crouched by the Alpha’s dead body, his throat ripped out and chest clawed open.</p><p>It’s then that I register the four elevated heartbeats of my friends behind me. Former friends, most likely, after what I just did.</p><p>Fuck...</p><p>I fight back tears and slowly turn to face them, knowing that I look like the monster that I keep hidden constantly. Knowing that their eyes will be filled with fear and horror, and that they’re probably gonna chase me out of Henrietta and curse my name. Maura and Calla too, once they find out.</p><p>I should’ve known that I could never truly have friends, that I would always be alone in the end.</p><p>When I look into their eyes, I’m surprised to find not the fear and horror that I’d expected, but...awe?</p><p>What?</p><p>“Holy motherfucking shit...” Ronan breathes out.</p><p>Gansey clears his throat, drawing our attention.</p><p>“Well, we should probably clean this up. Ronan, you have shovels in one of your sheds, yes?”</p><p>Ronan nods and begins heading in that direction.</p><p>“Wait!” I exclaim, confused and vaguely hopeful beyond measure. “Are you-Do none of you care that I just...” I trail off and gesture to the literal torn apart bodies around me and the copious amount of blood on myself. “Are we just gonna ignore that fact?”</p><p>“Not ignore per se,” Gansey starts, voice calm and in control, “we will talk about this. But later.”</p><p>“Besides,” Adam interjects, “we’ve had our fair share of bloodshed and dead bodies.”</p><p>Blue grimaces a little at that, but she shrugs her shoulders and heads off with Ronan to get the aforementioned shovels.</p><p>“Wait!” I cry once again, stopping them all, “You’re not...afraid?”</p><p>“Why the fuck would we be afraid?” Ronan barks out, “You just saved our lives.”</p><p>They all nod, looking...sure, and...proud?</p><p>I hadn’t considered that side of things, but I guess, yeah, I did save their lives.</p><p>I nod slowly. “Ok...”</p><p>Gansey claps his hands.</p><p>“Excellent, we are all on the same page for the time being.” Gansey states, “Now, let’s get to work, for you are not the only one who’s been hiding some secrets, Artemis.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>After we bury the bodies and clean up, we all sit down in the living room of the Barns, and they tell me everything. </p><p>About Glendower, Neeve, Gwenllian, Artemus, Cabeswater, Barrington Whelk, Persephone, Noah.</p><p>Everything. </p><p>It’s...quite a lot, but honestly this explains so much about the four of them.</p><p>And in return, I tell them my story.</p><p>I tell them that werewolves are real. I tell them how I’m a born werewolf, not turned. How I grew up in Oregon, but when my parents were murdered by some werewolf hunter when I was 10, I was on the run for around a year until I became part of this pack in California. I presented as an Omega when I was 12, and stayed with this pack until I was 15. Normally, a werewolf doesn’t leave their pack, but when I was 15 some disturbing news was brought to my attention, and so I left as fast as I could.</p><p>I explain what an Alpha Command is, and how Omega’s are virtually powerless against them. I explain the hierarchy of werewolves, how the Alphas are the leaders, the protectors, the Betas are the Alpha’s warriors and followers, and how the rare Omega is the caretaker and healer of the pack. But this hierarchy has been perverted over the years, especially when it comes to Omega’s, so now Omega’s are viewed as objects for Alphas and Betas to do whatever they want to with.</p><p>Which brings me to the reason why I left.</p><p>When I was 15, I was informed by the Alpha of my pack that I would be mated to and be made to bear the children of the Alpha’s son, Jason, a young man of around 23 which I had met a couple of times, but in no way knew well enough or liked enough to ever believe that this match would work, especially since I was underage and the match would be illegal.</p><p>I informed the Alpha of such, and he told me that I should stop thinking so much, since foolish Omega’s like me need to be told what to do and be obedient, and that I didn’t have a choice anyway.</p><p>So...I ran...I managed to rack up enough money to keep going to school and get into Harvard, and I’ve been moving from town to town when the school year isn’t going on alone for the past 4 years.</p><p>“I wasn’t about to be made into a sex slave for Jason’s pleasure,” I spit out, “I should have a choice in the matter, but unfortunately the majority of the werewolf community begs to differ.”</p><p>The silence hangs for a moment, and I think back to the carnage that I wrought earlier today.</p><p>“I’m sorry you witnessed that...me losing control earlier today...” I bite my lip in guilt, “I just want you all to know that I wasn’t gonna hurt any of you, that I never will.”</p><p>“We know.”</p><p>I look up at Adam.</p><p>“We trust you, Artemis.” He continues.</p><p>“How?” I look at all of them incredulously, “How can you trust me after that? I’m a monster.”</p><p>“You lost control because you wanted to protect us, right?” Blue asks, I nod. “And I’m assuming you were taught control ever since you were really young, right?” I nod once more. “So if you lost control because you wanted to protect us, that means that you went against years and years of ingrained training, at the risk of potentially losing our friendship if we didn’t accept you, and at the risk of badly injuring yourself because you fought five fucking werewolves, to make sure that we didn’t die. You broke free from a freaking Alpha Command to protect us, which from what you told us is almost impossible! But you did it, to protect us, Artemis. That sounds like a pretty loyal and trustworthy person to me.”</p><p>I nod slowly, processing.</p><p>“Besides,” Ronan intones, “some of the worst monsters aren’t even supernatural.” His eyes go kinda dark and distant, and the other three become somber as well.</p><p>I have a feeling I know what they’re thinking, since they told me about Greenmantle and Niall Lynch, and I decide to give them a moment.</p><p>“Is that why you disappeared for 3 days?” Gansey asks after a little while, “Because it’s a werewolf thing?”</p><p>I blush involuntarily. “It’s more of an...Omega thing.”</p><p>“Spill.” Blue demands, leaning toward me with a sparkle in her eyes.</p><p>“It’s...well...I guess I do owe you all an explanation.”</p><p>“You don’t have to if you really don’t want to.” Gansey says gently.</p><p>“No, no, it’s ok.” I clear my throat and scratch the back of my neck. “Omega’s are infertile for the majority of the month, except for three days where they become incredibly fertile and...their libido is in hyperdrive. It is also said that the children born from an Omega are supposed to be faster, stronger, and overall just...better than children born from Alphas or Betas, hence why since Omegas are so rare they are seen as incredibly valuable.”</p><p>“That’s amazing.” Gansey mumbles. I roll my eyes and huff out an irritated breath.</p><p>“Sure, it would be, if the simple fact of being an Omega didn’t mean that I don’t have a choice.”</p><p>“But you do.” Adam says, and we lock eyes. “You had a choice to stay in that abusive perverted pack or leave and face the world on your terms. You always have a choice, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”</p><p>He sounds so sure, so firm. His eyes hold a hidden meaning, something that he isn’t ready to share with me yet. It’s ok, I’m willing to wait for him to be ready.</p><p>“Redefine what it means to be an Omega, for you. Because you are more than what you’ve been made to believe.” Adam continues, the others nodding along.</p><p>I blink away tears.</p><p>“Thanks.” I mumble.</p><p>“Don’t thank us for telling you how it fucking is.” Ronan snorts out.</p><p>I give them all a slightly watery smile, and go over to hug each of them.</p><p>Blue wraps me in a tight hug that smells of sage and fire. </p><p>Ronan gives me a one-armed hug that smells of belladonna and leather.</p><p>And Adam and Gansey...</p><p>Shit, I really need to get these feelings for them under control.</p><p>Adam’s hug feels like a cool summer night, like the first breath of fresh air, and moss.</p><p>Gansey’s hug feels like sunshine on a warm day, like hot cocoa on a cold night, like a good book.</p><p>I realize in that moment that Blue was right, I’m a little in love with all of them, they’re a little in love with each other, and I am willing to do anything for them.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>It’s been around half a month ever since we all came clean to one another, and Adam and Gansey have been acting strange.</p><p>Not bad-strange per se, just...strange.</p><p>They’ll sit close to me when we hang out, pat me on the shoulder or generally just be touching me more, and I’ve even caught them almost glaring at Blue or Ronan if they are too close for too long.</p><p>Like the other day, I had been chilling with Blue on the doorstep of 300 Fox Way while we both waited for the boys, our thighs touching and my head resting on her shoulder while we stared up at the stars. When the boys pulled up in the Pig, Gansey and Adam were practically glaring daggers at Blue, Ronan was smirking broadly but remaining silent, and Blue simply rolled her eyes before pulling me toward the Pig and pointedly ignoring Adam and Gansey. When I asked what was wrong, Ronan just cryptically stated that three is a much better number than two, which caused Adam to flip him off and Gansey to let out a measured breath.</p><p>Again...I’m so dang confused...</p><p>And my feelings for both boys haven’t diminished, predictably, much to my dismay.</p><p>They don’t like me, never will, and I’m only torturing myself when my heart flutters in my chest when I notice Gansey’s eyes crinkle a little at the edges when he smiles, or how my stomach flips when Adam will tilt his head to the side and have a small furrow in the middle of his brow when he’s thinking.</p><p>I’ve got it really bad, and it is not good at all.</p><p>I’ve been working at Nino’s with Blue for the past little while, contemplating actually staying in Henrietta more permanently than I had initially intended to.</p><p>My night shift is filled with cranky customers, loud children, and arrogant Raven Boys.</p><p>The table I’m currently serving unfortunately seats one of the latter.</p><p>“Come on, baby, just one kiss.” Entitled Prick says, going for charming but ending up with repulsing.</p><p>I smile politely, “No thank you.”, and move to grab his dirty dishes and leave. Entitled Prick has been acting this way all night, and unfortunately Blue’s shift ended 2 hours ago and she had to go help Maura and Calla with a reading, and since Gansey isn’t here yet to pick me up for a hang out at the movies once Blue is done, I am left without an ally. But I can handle myself, so I’m not worried.</p><p>Just as I move to walk away, a stupidly privileged hand clamps around my wrist uncomfortably.</p><p>“Don’t be rude, honey, I can show you a good time.” Entitled Prick grins a smile with irritatingly perfect teeth.</p><p>I hear the bell on the front door ring, announcing another customer.</p><p>“Sir, please remove your hand.” I say, fighting the urge to punch him.</p><p>He tugs me and I almost stumble into his lap.</p><p>“You are playing really hard to get, aren’t you? But don’t worry, I know how to make you scream.”</p><p>I wrench my wrist out of his slimy grasp. “Don’t touch me.” I say firmly, glaring at him now, “I told you no, so stop. Leave me alone.”</p><p>“Oh come on, baby-“</p><p>“She said leave her alone.” says a powerful voice from behind me, a voice that I recognize very well, for it’s the same voice that has ranted to me about dead Welsh kings.</p><p>I turn to see both Gansey and Adam standing there. Gansey is looking at Entitled Prick with a look of cool disdain, and Adam’s eyes have got that disconcerting cruel and calculating look to them.</p><p>“That’s no way to talk to a lady, Jefferson.” Adam says lowly.</p><p>Jefferson AKA Entitled Prick shifts under their gazes.</p><p>“And who is this pretty piece of merchandise to you both?”</p><p>I’m .2 seconds away from smacking him into the next life, but before I can say anything, Gansey and Adam step forward.</p><p>“She’s our girlfriend so back off.” Gansey states.</p><p>“Unless you wanted to make us angry.” Adam adds.</p><p>...Did I just hear that right?</p><p>...girlfriend?</p><p>I conceal the shock in favour of glaring at Entitled Prick Jefferson.</p><p>Entitled Prick Jefferson immediately changes his tune, getting up from his seat and heading toward the door.</p><p>“Hey, man, I don’t want any trouble. I didn’t know she was your girl.”</p><p>This boils my blood even more.</p><p>“You should’ve just respected my decision when I told you to stop and leave me alone, you entitled arrogant prick.” I growl out, digging the tips of my claws into the palm of my hands to resist the urge to bite this guys throat out.</p><p>He waves a dismissive hand and is out the door before I can say anything else.</p><p>Fuck that guy, ugh...disgusting...</p><p>Thank goodness the diner is pretty empty now, otherwise there would be some questions raised.</p><p>I sigh and press my fingers to the bridge of my nose.</p><p>...girlfriend?</p><p>I turn to face both boys, and they look like they’re shaking off the last shreds of anger while also looking slightly sheepish.</p><p>“Thank you,” I start, keeping my voice even. “but while I appreciate your help, I would have preferred to handle it myself. I’m not helpless.”</p><p>“We know,” Adam says, his hands twitching, resisting the urge to pick at the hem of his t-shirt, “we just saw Jefferson being disgusting and we kinda...reacted...we’re sorry though, you’re right.”</p><p>Gansey nods, eyes earnest. I nod in return, releasing another slow breath.</p><p>“Girlfriend?”</p><p>They both freeze.</p><p>“Did you mean it?” I ask, hesitant, “Or did you just say that to get the prick to leave me alone?”</p><p>Adam rubs the back of his neck, glancing at Gansey. Gansey returns his gaze, nods a little, and then turns to me.</p><p>“We meant it.” He says firmly.</p><p>Their heartbeats are steady. They’re telling the truth.</p><p>“Ok...” I breath out, fighting the butterflies in my stomach and the hope bubbling in my heart. “My shift ends in five minutes. Should we take this somewhere more private when I’m done?”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>We’re in Monmouth, sitting on Gansey’s bed.</p><p>“So...” I mutter, “you both like me...romantically?”</p><p>Both Gansey and Adam nod, slowly.</p><p>“We talked about it around 2 weeks ago,” Adam says, “and when we both realized we liked you, we decided we were gonna ask you if you wanted to date the both of us. Although we really weren’t expecting it to go down like this.”</p><p>“And if you don’t like us that way then that’s completely alright,” Gansey begins to ramble, “we know that dating two people can sound rather daunting, it did at first to Adam and I, but then we realized that we really really wanted to date you as well, but again, no pressure to do anything of the sort, and if you want we can never speak of this again-“</p><p>“Gansey!” I exclaim, allowing my lips to hitch up into a small smile, “let me talk, please?”</p><p>Adam places his hand in Gansey’s while the latter nods. Both look nervous.</p><p>“So...I do like you both very very much, and I never thought that...honestly I believed that neither one of you would ever give me a second glance,” I mutter, forcing myself to meet their shocked gazes, “especially since you both looked so happy together, and I didn’t wanna ruin that, so...I decided not to say anything and try to extinguish my feelings for you both, although it didn’t work.” I chuckle slightly, “but, yeah, if you both wanna try this three-way thing, I am more than excited to do so.”</p><p>“Really?” Gansey murmurs.</p><p>“Yeah,” I smile softly, “really.”</p><p>They both take my hands.</p><p>“That’s...awesome.” Adam laughs.</p><p>“Absolutely magnificent!”</p><p>I giggle, the butterflies in my stomach exploding and filling me with warmth.</p><p>“Can I kiss you both?” I ask, hesitant.</p><p>Gansey blushes bright red, his dimples showing when he smiles, and Adam’s slow exhale and wide eyes are answer enough.</p><p>I lean into Gansey first, since he’s a little closer, and give him ample time to back away. I squeeze Adam’s hand slightly in mine, and he squeezes back. Gansey leans in to close the gap and presses our lips together.</p><p>The kiss is chaste and just a press of lips against lips. But it’s filled with honey sweetness, with minty aftertaste, with soft lips and gentle caresses. With held back exhilaration, and carefully veiled passion.</p><p>When we pull away, Gansey and I share a moment just staring into each other’s eyes. I marvel at how those eyes can hold so much wonder and painful wisdom at the same time.</p><p>I feel a tug on my hand, and I turn to face Adam. He has a slight playful frown, and I smile teasingly before leaning in to kiss him as well.</p><p>Adam’s lips are slightly chapped, but they are firm and insistent in the way that they press against mine, as if there’s so much he wants to say, but is hoping that this is enough for now to convey it. His kiss is like the crackle of lighting in a thunderstorm, and the calmness of a warm summer breeze.</p><p>I lean my forehead against his when we break apart, and just breath for a little. His eyes hold such weight, such beauty intermixed with broken scars.</p><p>Gansey tugs on Adam a little to kiss him tenderly, and I smile and squeeze both of their hands, receiving a squeeze in return.</p><p>Adam’s gonna head off to Yale soon, I’m gonna go back to Harvard, and Gansey is probably gonna divide his time between both until we can all be together, but we will make it work.</p><p>Relationships are a tricky business, but when there’s a will, there is a way.</p><p>Who knew that life could hold such pleasant adventures?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!! As always, constructive criticism is much appreciated!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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